Post by SaRaHJaNe on Sept 18, 2011 21:50:26 GMT
Growing Online Dating Relationships
Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.
Take time and make time.
Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.
Communication needs to 'feel' right.
If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.
Respect each others privacy.
Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.
Share special online and offline fun times.
Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).
Find common topics to share, avoid conversational mine fields.
There are few topics that are best for the initial talks so that an intimacy is developed and at the same time you do not have to struggle for matters of common interest. You can talk about the weather, sports, movies, music and even food. But at the same it is in bad taste to discuss religion, politics and family matters in the initial stages. You can crack jokes but dirty jokes are an absolute no-no at least in the first few talks.
Provide your confidential info only after you feel comfortable.
Once you have talked more than once or twice and you feel comfortable with the person you can give the person your e-mail address but remember this is the first step towards virtual intimacy so you have to trust your instincts and nothing else. This takes things out of the public chat rooms and into the private inboxes.
Take your time.
Because you are aware of the fact that the person you are chatting is reaching out to you in the same way as you are reaching out to him, there is a tendency for an intimacy to build up quickly. You have to be on your guard all the time and keep constantly reminding your self that the person you are chatting with is, after all a stranger and a goodness-knows-what. The best thing that you could do is avoid instant intimacy altogether.
It doesn’t really matter if the other person finds you cold or reserved, you can easily solve that by telling the other person that it takes sometime for you to become comfortable with a new friend. That in fact is a good quality because it is as good as saying, 'I’m not the loose kind who plays around.'
Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.