Post by SaRaHJaNe on Apr 14, 2009 7:42:34 GMT
By: Christian Carter
Do you feel uncertain about
the future of your relationship?
Would you feel more confident in your relationship
if you knew exactly what to say and do so that
your man would ALWAYS feel that being with you and
staying in a committed relationship with you was
worth it, no matter what kind of challenges you're
having?
Challenges like tough financial times, stress,
temptations from other women, and disagreements?
You can learn how to create an unbreakable bond
with him by reading this:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM
Do you sometimes wish that men could just be
more HONEST with you?
Do you feel discouraged by dating because the
men you meet actually LIE about what they want
from dating, what their background is, what they
do for a living and sometimes even lie about
whether or not they're AVAILABLE?
To where sometimes you end up involved with a
man who is already seriously dating another woman,
or worse - is married?
Not good.
If these are situations that you run into a
little more than you'd like, then keep reading
because in this e-mail I'm about to reveal the
"MAGIC ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to
be completely up front and honest with you about
such things as:
-- If he's looking for something serious or casual
-- If he's seeing other people
-- If you're the kind of woman he's drawn to
-- If he's ready to "settle down" or not
As a matter of fact, with this magic attitude,
you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more
than he would ever reveal on his own, without
prompting, and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is that
he will feel more "connected" with you because
he'll feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.
He'll feel more attracted to you because he'll
feel more understood and appreciated by you.
This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not
only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him
feel more connected to you at the same time.
Nice.
If you're single and dating right now, this
mind set or attitude can actually help you qualify
the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in the
dating process as possible. Perhaps even before
you meet in person for the first time (if you're
online dating).
And if you're in a relationship, it can help you
get to the bottom of what he's thinking and
feeling, so you can know why he's withdrawing, if
he's open to taking things to the "next level," or
what's holding him back from fully committing to
you.
But first, there's a fundamental question that
seems to bother a lot of women.
Why does this even have to be an issue, anyway?
Why can't a guy just be up-front and honest with
you?
Why, for example, is it so hard for a man to
tell you why he's not calling as often or why he
stopped asking you out, especially when he seemed
so "into you" in the beginning?
You go out on a few dates with a guy, and you
think everything is going great. Then he stops
calling. He doesn't respond to your emails or
texts. It's like he's dropped off the face of the
earth and YOU DON'T KNOW WHY.
It's not that you are so particularly
"heartbroken" about this. Maybe you even realized
that he was a nice enough guy, but you didn't know
him well enough yet to fall in love or anything.
But still, you wish you could at least hear WHY
he stopped calling, stopped asking you out, and
stopped responding to your messages.
You just wish he could be HONEST with you.
It's no big deal - you can handle it. Right?
Hmmm....perhaps, but that's not how HE may be
seeing things.
WHY MEN WILL LIE TO YOU
Imagine this scenario:
You're on a first or second date with a man and
it's going really well.
You're laughing, you're having a great
conversation and you seem to have a lot in common.
It's almost scary how similar your attitudes are
about certain things.
You feel an intense "chemistry" between you.
He's staring at you with that "look" that tells
you he is very attracted to you.
He even talks about places he'd like to take you
to someday.
You are almost positive that this is the
beginning of something meaningful with this guy.
But a day or two goes by after the date and you
don't hear from him. Then a week, then two weeks.
You send him a message, "Haven't heard from you
in a while. How are you?"
But he doesn't respond. You never hear from him
again. You beat yourself up, analyzing everything
you did and said on the dates to see if maybe you
accidentally put him off.
Months later, you find out the truth from
someone else. During the time he was dating you,
he was also dating another woman, and was now
getting more "serious" with her.
You feel confused, disappointed, and a bit
annoyed that he didn't just tell you the TRUTH
about what was going on.
Why didn't he tell you the truth - either
before, during, or after he went on a date with
you?
The truth would have been a whole lot better
than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself
up over nothing. Right? Of course it would.
So why does a man lie to you? Why does he avoid
telling you the truth about a situation?
The answer is simple.
A man will lie to you because he hates
confrontation.
He FEARS your emotional response. He fears your
rejection of him. He fears that HE won't be able
to "handle" your response.
He's imagining that you're going to cry, scream,
be disappointed, argue, or complain. He fears
being put on the spot or "attacked."
Understand - I'm not saying you would do any of
those things.
I'm just telling you what that guy - who maybe
doesn't know you all that well yet - is thinking.
You may be a cool cucumber. Totally able to
maturely handle whatever he tells you.
It doesn't matter - somewhere in his past, there
was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him
with her emotional response, and it FREAKED him
out.
He could have just said, "Hey, I am dating
another woman right now, and I've decided that I
want to get to know her better. I think you're
great, but I also feel that I want to give this
other situation a chance."
Instead, he tells you NOTHING--he avoids you,
stops calling, and hopes that he won't ever have
to face your criticism and judgment.
It's not a particularly mature and considerate
thing to do, but that's the reality of how it is
with a lot of men. Not all, but definitely a lot.
They don't even realize in the moment how YOU'RE
feeling. All they know is that they have to do
what they must do to avoid that confrontation they
fear.
Despite this, there's reason to be hopeful that
you can create the space for a man to be honest
with you with really no effort.
And here's something else you need to know.
There's a "window of opportunity" for getting the
most honesty right away, so you can screen out the
men who are Mr. Wrong from the start.
Be sure to know when that window is open for
you, and take advantage of it.
WHY FIRST AND SECOND DATES ARE CRITICAL TIMES
FOR HONESTY
This is an interesting fact: a man will be MOST
HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally
engaged or invested in your relationship yet.
In other words, you can probably learn a LOT
about a man on a first or second date, when you're
just getting to know each other.
This is a time when he's not so afraid to share,
because he's not afraid of disappointing you
(since you don't know each other well enough yet).
This is when you should be listening VERY
closely to what a man tells you.
This is when he'll tell you things like, "I'm
just looking for something casual and fun right
now. I just got out of a long-term relationship
and not into getting into the same situation
anytime soon."
Or he might laugh and say, "I'm a lifetime
bachelor. Settling down doesn't interest me in the
least."
Or, he might reveal some other dark secret, "My
ex was an unhappy woman. Always complaining about
one thing or another about me."
And that's when you need to HEAR what he's
saying.
And take him seriously. Know what you're in for.
The man you choose is the man you get.
THE ATTITUDE & THE THREE MAGIC WORDS THAT
INSPIRE HONESTY
When you want to inspire honesty in a man, so
that you let him know that he is "safe" when he
shares with you, you have to have what I call the
"Anything is OK" attitude.
Now, this doesn't mean that anything is OK for a
man to do, and that you're supposed to accept
anything he does and have no boundaries or
limitations.
The attitude is more like you thinking,
"Anything is OK for you to share with me, but I
know what I will and will not tolerate in my life,
and what I want. But you can TELL ME anything. I
can handle it."
How do you communicate this attitude?
Easy.
With the three little words: "I'm just curious."
It can go like this.
"Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm just
curious?"
"What kind of relationship are you looking for?
I'm just curious."
"What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm just
curious."
"Where do you see yourself in the next five
years? I'm just curious."
Using these three words not only lets a man know
that you'll be OK with whatever he tells you, but
that you're not needy or too aggressive, and he
can feel safe telling you just about anything.
Just don't stare at him, holding your breath,
waiting for his answer. That defeats the purpose -
BIG TIME.
Here's the deal. It's not that a man is afraid of
certain questions. It's just that the WAY a woman
asks those questions makes him feel strange.
If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone else
right now, are you?" It almost automatically
invites DIS-HONESTY in a man.
If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you
must have the "Anything is OK" attitude and use
those 3 magic words to get the most honest
response possible.
That way, you won't waste a lot of time going on
dates with "unavailable" men, men who have
skeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex,
or are actually interested in a different kind of
relationship than you are.
Wouldn't you benefit from knowing exactly how to
use the "Anything is OK" attitude to screen out
the right man from all the wrong ones? How to know
if the man you're with now is really being honest
with you about where the relationship is headed?
Or if he's lying?
In my CD/DVD program, "Meeting The One," I
explain how to use the Anything is OK Attitude to
maximize your success in dating and relationships.
You'll learn how to screen for potential jerks
by knowing what to do and say even BEFORE you
agree to meet on a first date.
And in this program, I'll teach you what to do
and say to create amazing chemistry with the RIGHT
MAN and how to constantly be increasing the level
of ATTRACTION between you. You'll learn:
-- How certain phrases you speak can be a DEAL-
BREAKER for a man when he hears it the first
few times he dates you. and how to avoid these
at all costs
-- How to make a man see your VALUE by the things
you say or not, so that he will believe your
"status" to be high and therefore will be
naturally attracted to you
-- How to make a man feel ATTRACTION from the
first five minutes all the way through the
first five dates using specific
"counterintuitive" actions
-- The secret to drawing a "non-committal" man
closer to you by making yourself a "challenge"
in his eyes
It's all right here, totally risk-free. You can
try my Meeting The One program free for a month
and learn all my best secrets to flirting, dating,
and attracting a man to you from the moment you
meet him:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/MeetingTheOne
If you have a handle on dating and flirting, but
you are often confused by what men do and say,
then there's something I want to ask you.
Wouldn't you love to have more insight into why
men do the things they do, so that you could feel
like you UNDERSTAND men better (and therefore have
better relationships)?
Over the years, women have asked me the same
kind of questions over and over about men, dating,
and relationships:
-- What makes a man "fall" for a woman? What's the
secret?
-- How can I get him to really listen to me and
get me?
-- Why do men cheat? Do all men want to cheat?
-- How can I affair-proof my relationship?
-- What do men look for in a woman before they
decide she's "The One"?
-- Do men go through stages of maturity, and if
so, what stage is my man in?
I couldn't let these questions go unanswered.
So I actually put together an entire unique
program that answers ALL of these questions,
including more in-depth insights into why men lie,
why men SEEM to be more "cold" and "in control"
emotionally, and how knowing your man inside and
out can bring you closer than you ever thought
possible.
In my "Inside the Mind of a Man" program, I help
you understand what a man's words and actions
really mean, and I bust the common "man myths"
that are keeping you from truly and completely
connecting with a man.
To learn instantly what the 3 most common and
destructive myths are about men that are holding
you back from love, and can tear apart an
otherwise great relationships, click here and read
this:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM
I know that the easiest way to help you find and
connect with a GOOD man is to teach you the skills
to get the most honesty possible from a man, and
then know what it takes for a man to feel deeply
in love with you.
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in
Life and Love,
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
P.S. Do you ever wonder why a man will spend time
"zoning" out in front of the TV or totally
absorbed in sports, or tinkering in the garage or
browsing the Internet? Or why he hates to "talk"
about the relationship?
Men have different needs when it comes to relaxing
and unwinding. They also have different needs when
it comes to intimacy and getting physical.
You probably know what those are. Or do you? Find
out by reading about the 3 Man Myths and the truth
behind what men REALLY need and want:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM
Do you feel uncertain about
the future of your relationship?
Would you feel more confident in your relationship
if you knew exactly what to say and do so that
your man would ALWAYS feel that being with you and
staying in a committed relationship with you was
worth it, no matter what kind of challenges you're
having?
Challenges like tough financial times, stress,
temptations from other women, and disagreements?
You can learn how to create an unbreakable bond
with him by reading this:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM
Do you sometimes wish that men could just be
more HONEST with you?
Do you feel discouraged by dating because the
men you meet actually LIE about what they want
from dating, what their background is, what they
do for a living and sometimes even lie about
whether or not they're AVAILABLE?
To where sometimes you end up involved with a
man who is already seriously dating another woman,
or worse - is married?
Not good.
If these are situations that you run into a
little more than you'd like, then keep reading
because in this e-mail I'm about to reveal the
"MAGIC ATTITUDE" that actually inspires a man to
be completely up front and honest with you about
such things as:
-- If he's looking for something serious or casual
-- If he's seeing other people
-- If you're the kind of woman he's drawn to
-- If he's ready to "settle down" or not
As a matter of fact, with this magic attitude,
you may be able to get a man to reveal a lot more
than he would ever reveal on his own, without
prompting, and the ADDED BENEFIT of this is that
he will feel more "connected" with you because
he'll feel he can tell you just about ANYTHING.
He'll feel more attracted to you because he'll
feel more understood and appreciated by you.
This is why I call this attitude "magic." It not
only inspires honesty from a man, it makes him
feel more connected to you at the same time.
Nice.
If you're single and dating right now, this
mind set or attitude can actually help you qualify
the right man and avoid Mr. Wrong as early in the
dating process as possible. Perhaps even before
you meet in person for the first time (if you're
online dating).
And if you're in a relationship, it can help you
get to the bottom of what he's thinking and
feeling, so you can know why he's withdrawing, if
he's open to taking things to the "next level," or
what's holding him back from fully committing to
you.
But first, there's a fundamental question that
seems to bother a lot of women.
Why does this even have to be an issue, anyway?
Why can't a guy just be up-front and honest with
you?
Why, for example, is it so hard for a man to
tell you why he's not calling as often or why he
stopped asking you out, especially when he seemed
so "into you" in the beginning?
You go out on a few dates with a guy, and you
think everything is going great. Then he stops
calling. He doesn't respond to your emails or
texts. It's like he's dropped off the face of the
earth and YOU DON'T KNOW WHY.
It's not that you are so particularly
"heartbroken" about this. Maybe you even realized
that he was a nice enough guy, but you didn't know
him well enough yet to fall in love or anything.
But still, you wish you could at least hear WHY
he stopped calling, stopped asking you out, and
stopped responding to your messages.
You just wish he could be HONEST with you.
It's no big deal - you can handle it. Right?
Hmmm....perhaps, but that's not how HE may be
seeing things.
WHY MEN WILL LIE TO YOU
Imagine this scenario:
You're on a first or second date with a man and
it's going really well.
You're laughing, you're having a great
conversation and you seem to have a lot in common.
It's almost scary how similar your attitudes are
about certain things.
You feel an intense "chemistry" between you.
He's staring at you with that "look" that tells
you he is very attracted to you.
He even talks about places he'd like to take you
to someday.
You are almost positive that this is the
beginning of something meaningful with this guy.
But a day or two goes by after the date and you
don't hear from him. Then a week, then two weeks.
You send him a message, "Haven't heard from you
in a while. How are you?"
But he doesn't respond. You never hear from him
again. You beat yourself up, analyzing everything
you did and said on the dates to see if maybe you
accidentally put him off.
Months later, you find out the truth from
someone else. During the time he was dating you,
he was also dating another woman, and was now
getting more "serious" with her.
You feel confused, disappointed, and a bit
annoyed that he didn't just tell you the TRUTH
about what was going on.
Why didn't he tell you the truth - either
before, during, or after he went on a date with
you?
The truth would have been a whole lot better
than days or weeks WONDERING and beating yourself
up over nothing. Right? Of course it would.
So why does a man lie to you? Why does he avoid
telling you the truth about a situation?
The answer is simple.
A man will lie to you because he hates
confrontation.
He FEARS your emotional response. He fears your
rejection of him. He fears that HE won't be able
to "handle" your response.
He's imagining that you're going to cry, scream,
be disappointed, argue, or complain. He fears
being put on the spot or "attacked."
Understand - I'm not saying you would do any of
those things.
I'm just telling you what that guy - who maybe
doesn't know you all that well yet - is thinking.
You may be a cool cucumber. Totally able to
maturely handle whatever he tells you.
It doesn't matter - somewhere in his past, there
was a woman or two who did in fact overwhelm him
with her emotional response, and it FREAKED him
out.
He could have just said, "Hey, I am dating
another woman right now, and I've decided that I
want to get to know her better. I think you're
great, but I also feel that I want to give this
other situation a chance."
Instead, he tells you NOTHING--he avoids you,
stops calling, and hopes that he won't ever have
to face your criticism and judgment.
It's not a particularly mature and considerate
thing to do, but that's the reality of how it is
with a lot of men. Not all, but definitely a lot.
They don't even realize in the moment how YOU'RE
feeling. All they know is that they have to do
what they must do to avoid that confrontation they
fear.
Despite this, there's reason to be hopeful that
you can create the space for a man to be honest
with you with really no effort.
And here's something else you need to know.
There's a "window of opportunity" for getting the
most honesty right away, so you can screen out the
men who are Mr. Wrong from the start.
Be sure to know when that window is open for
you, and take advantage of it.
WHY FIRST AND SECOND DATES ARE CRITICAL TIMES
FOR HONESTY
This is an interesting fact: a man will be MOST
HONEST with you when he is NOT YET emotionally
engaged or invested in your relationship yet.
In other words, you can probably learn a LOT
about a man on a first or second date, when you're
just getting to know each other.
This is a time when he's not so afraid to share,
because he's not afraid of disappointing you
(since you don't know each other well enough yet).
This is when you should be listening VERY
closely to what a man tells you.
This is when he'll tell you things like, "I'm
just looking for something casual and fun right
now. I just got out of a long-term relationship
and not into getting into the same situation
anytime soon."
Or he might laugh and say, "I'm a lifetime
bachelor. Settling down doesn't interest me in the
least."
Or, he might reveal some other dark secret, "My
ex was an unhappy woman. Always complaining about
one thing or another about me."
And that's when you need to HEAR what he's
saying.
And take him seriously. Know what you're in for.
The man you choose is the man you get.
THE ATTITUDE & THE THREE MAGIC WORDS THAT
INSPIRE HONESTY
When you want to inspire honesty in a man, so
that you let him know that he is "safe" when he
shares with you, you have to have what I call the
"Anything is OK" attitude.
Now, this doesn't mean that anything is OK for a
man to do, and that you're supposed to accept
anything he does and have no boundaries or
limitations.
The attitude is more like you thinking,
"Anything is OK for you to share with me, but I
know what I will and will not tolerate in my life,
and what I want. But you can TELL ME anything. I
can handle it."
How do you communicate this attitude?
Easy.
With the three little words: "I'm just curious."
It can go like this.
"Are you seeing anyone right now? I'm just
curious?"
"What kind of relationship are you looking for?
I'm just curious."
"What kind of woman do you most admire? I'm just
curious."
"Where do you see yourself in the next five
years? I'm just curious."
Using these three words not only lets a man know
that you'll be OK with whatever he tells you, but
that you're not needy or too aggressive, and he
can feel safe telling you just about anything.
Just don't stare at him, holding your breath,
waiting for his answer. That defeats the purpose -
BIG TIME.
Here's the deal. It's not that a man is afraid of
certain questions. It's just that the WAY a woman
asks those questions makes him feel strange.
If a woman warns, "You're not seeing anyone else
right now, are you?" It almost automatically
invites DIS-HONESTY in a man.
If you want to inspire sincerity in a man, you
must have the "Anything is OK" attitude and use
those 3 magic words to get the most honest
response possible.
That way, you won't waste a lot of time going on
dates with "unavailable" men, men who have
skeletons in their closet, aren't over their ex,
or are actually interested in a different kind of
relationship than you are.
Wouldn't you benefit from knowing exactly how to
use the "Anything is OK" attitude to screen out
the right man from all the wrong ones? How to know
if the man you're with now is really being honest
with you about where the relationship is headed?
Or if he's lying?
In my CD/DVD program, "Meeting The One," I
explain how to use the Anything is OK Attitude to
maximize your success in dating and relationships.
You'll learn how to screen for potential jerks
by knowing what to do and say even BEFORE you
agree to meet on a first date.
And in this program, I'll teach you what to do
and say to create amazing chemistry with the RIGHT
MAN and how to constantly be increasing the level
of ATTRACTION between you. You'll learn:
-- How certain phrases you speak can be a DEAL-
BREAKER for a man when he hears it the first
few times he dates you. and how to avoid these
at all costs
-- How to make a man see your VALUE by the things
you say or not, so that he will believe your
"status" to be high and therefore will be
naturally attracted to you
-- How to make a man feel ATTRACTION from the
first five minutes all the way through the
first five dates using specific
"counterintuitive" actions
-- The secret to drawing a "non-committal" man
closer to you by making yourself a "challenge"
in his eyes
It's all right here, totally risk-free. You can
try my Meeting The One program free for a month
and learn all my best secrets to flirting, dating,
and attracting a man to you from the moment you
meet him:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/MeetingTheOne
If you have a handle on dating and flirting, but
you are often confused by what men do and say,
then there's something I want to ask you.
Wouldn't you love to have more insight into why
men do the things they do, so that you could feel
like you UNDERSTAND men better (and therefore have
better relationships)?
Over the years, women have asked me the same
kind of questions over and over about men, dating,
and relationships:
-- What makes a man "fall" for a woman? What's the
secret?
-- How can I get him to really listen to me and
get me?
-- Why do men cheat? Do all men want to cheat?
-- How can I affair-proof my relationship?
-- What do men look for in a woman before they
decide she's "The One"?
-- Do men go through stages of maturity, and if
so, what stage is my man in?
I couldn't let these questions go unanswered.
So I actually put together an entire unique
program that answers ALL of these questions,
including more in-depth insights into why men lie,
why men SEEM to be more "cold" and "in control"
emotionally, and how knowing your man inside and
out can bring you closer than you ever thought
possible.
In my "Inside the Mind of a Man" program, I help
you understand what a man's words and actions
really mean, and I bust the common "man myths"
that are keeping you from truly and completely
connecting with a man.
To learn instantly what the 3 most common and
destructive myths are about men that are holding
you back from love, and can tear apart an
otherwise great relationships, click here and read
this:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM
I know that the easiest way to help you find and
connect with a GOOD man is to teach you the skills
to get the most honesty possible from a man, and
then know what it takes for a man to feel deeply
in love with you.
I'll talk to you again soon, and best of luck in
Life and Love,
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
P.S. Do you ever wonder why a man will spend time
"zoning" out in front of the TV or totally
absorbed in sports, or tinkering in the garage or
browsing the Internet? Or why he hates to "talk"
about the relationship?
Men have different needs when it comes to relaxing
and unwinding. They also have different needs when
it comes to intimacy and getting physical.
You probably know what those are. Or do you? Find
out by reading about the 3 Man Myths and the truth
behind what men REALLY need and want:
www.CatchHimKeepHim.com/IMM